Now Who's Talking? 2

Are you ready for round two of Now Who’s Talking? Des Lynam returns with more animal antics in this second collection of conversations, once again illustrated by Bryony Hill. This time, they’re heading to the farm and the zoo to eavesdrop on an even wider variety of animals, ranging from ferrets and turkeys to flamingos and crocodiles.
Just as in the previous volume, Des gives voice to the animals in a way that mirrors their behaviour in the real world, while at the same time offering some intriguing insights into their interactions with us humans. As ever, Des’s words are perfectly complemented by Bryony’s imaginative yet realistic drawings.

‘Full of charm, novelty, and wit – just like the man himself.’ Susie Dent
‘I loved Des’s voice. It was always one of my favourites to imitate (“Wine ’em… dine ’em… Lynam”). Now the old master’s found a whole range of voices and applied them to the birds and animals in his garden and beyond. Whimsical, witty, imaginative –  and great fun.’ Rory Bremner

Now Who's Talking? 1

Discover the animal kingdom as you’ve never seen it before! In this charming and witty book, with words by Des Lynam and illustrations by Bryony Hill, creatures ranging from squirrels and butterflies to baby hedgehogs and tiger cubs finally get a chance to speak for themselves, revealing their quirks and habits in a way that’s sure to delight readers of all ages.
Whether you’re a die-hard animal lover or just looking for a good laugh, Des and Bryony’s unique perspective is guaranteed to leave you with a smile on your face – and every so often, perhaps, tell you something you didn’t know about our winged and furry friends.
‘Quirky in the best possible way. Putting words into animal’s mouths is no easy thing, but that is exactly what Des has managed to do. It talks to us of being human – and also of being animal – but expressed in a way that we can relate to. And the illustrations take the words to another level: a perfect match!’
Jonathan and Angela Scott
(aka The Big Cat People), award-winning photographers and conservationists

Murder Spells Trouble with a Capital M

Memoirs of a '90s Schoolboy

An entertaining and irreverent read, Memoirs of a 90s' School Boy is a book that'll bring you back in time to childhood and the ups and downs of primary school days. The ridiculous situations, elaborate observations, and honest brain farts of a child who thinks he's got it sussed; will make you laugh out loud. Described by BAFTA award winning comedian, Daisy Cooper (the force behind BBC3's 'This Country') as 'the funniest thing she has ever read'. This book needs no further introduction, just get on and read it and see for yourself.

Love? In A Cottage

Love? In a Cottage is the story of two middle-aged people from very different backgrounds who meet as the result of an advertisement placed in the lonely hearts section of a national newspaper. Marlene Sugden is a secretary working in London whose life has changed very much for the worse in a few months. Firstly her father, who she has loved and cared for over many years, dies then her best friend marries and immediately emigrates to Australia and, as a final straw, Marlene’s boss retires and her new boss is a snappy and difficult man. Marlene dearly wants a husband and a home to care for and in her desperation, she places an advertisement in the Evening Standard. “Lonely unmarried woman, good cook and homemaker seeks kind-hearted, single middle-aged man with view to matrimony if suited”. Deep in the Herefordshire countryside, Donald Evans sits reading a two-day-old newspaper as he eats his meal of baked beans straight from the tin. His eye is caught by Marlene’s advertisement. He is single, mid-40s and kind-hearted if it does not cost him anything. Donald hunts out a piece of notepaper, sharpens his pencil and replies to Marlene’s advertisement.

Love and Kisses, Pauline xxx

In a series of letters, Pauline tells how her plea for forgiveness and a frisky rabbit reunite her with Dorothy, Gwen and Freddie, her Australian schoolmates from the 1960s. They thought they knew one another inside out but what happens next, takes them by surprise. No longer bound by the constraints and conventions of middle age, uncomfortable truths are laid bare, and the four embrace their differences.

Climb aboard their white-knuckle ride and immerse yourself in the ups, downs, loops, and spirals of their lives. Laugh with them as their daily round is enriched by a new, warts and all, friendship!

Life Stories: the Odd Bits

People say, “When life deals you lemons, make lemonade” as if they knew the recipe and of course could lay hands on the other ingredients. The people between the covers of this book tried to follow the initial advice, and this is the result: not exactly lemonade, not exactly soup, not exactly toxic but more or less what you might expect if you tried making lemonade from substitute ingredients such as cabbage stalks, bacon rind, honey, brewer’s yeast and fermented socks.

PLEASE NOTE: this is not an approved recipe. You can try it in the safety of your own home, but the author takes no responsibility for the results, he can make an educated guess...

Lemons

Nothing of note has ever happened in Cockle Cove unless you can count the annual Scout Jamboree and the sudden appearance of new novices at the monastery.

Things take an inexplicable turn and people disappear suddenly. A new landlord turns up to take over the Jolly Roger Pub and is not all he seems to be.

The centuries-old mysteries of stashed Spanish gold and hidden tunnels are reignited and everyone follows their own clues to save the day and return things to the safety of the status quo.

King George

Devotees of E.F. Benson’s books on the people of Tilling will not be disappointed in this sequel. From cricket matches, Christmas lunches and Roman villas, the lives of the residents of Tilling are laid bare once again with all their small-village craziness. Not only Tilling, but also the residents of Risenholme, and friends from London, all come to Tilling to play a part in pre-war village Britain. Once again, Elizabeth Mapp tries to prove to the world that she is right and Tilling is wrong in their love for Lucia. All the past characters are here including Mr and Mrs Wyse, Quaint Irene, Diva, the Padre as well as Janet and Foljambe and there is a new character to invade the peaceful and tranquil lives of the residents whose identity confounds and confuses them.

Justin At Large

When Millicent Pemberton’s acting career comes to a disastrous end, she seduces a wealthy Scottish Duke and moves into his impressive castle. Pregnant with Justin she raids the Duke’s safe and disappears with a fortune in banknotes.

22 years later, a fiercely dominating mother, Millicent and her American lover move to the USA selling her family home, leaving him to be introduced into an alien world.

A Pandora’s box of events challenges his sanity. He’d been arrested and jailed briefly for a trumped-up charge of rape. Mentally, physically and sexually abused by a collection of crazy women (including a randy teacher and her class of equally randy 16-year-old schoolgirls).

Locating his mother in the USA, Justin accompanying her to a bank is taken hostage by three armed gorillas during a raid. He is whisked away into the wilds to be harassed by a gang of women thieves. The Duke, recognising Millicent from a TV newsflash and realising Justin must be his son, races to rescue him with a bunch of mercenaries.

Justin’s story has so many unpredictable events you are forced to turn over the page to learn what happens to our guy next.

Jacaranda, Mr James

James Harris has a busy, professional life in Edinburgh, the Scottish capital. He needs a complete break, and returns to the subtropical Island of Madeira, to its capital, Funchal, in spring and autumn. There is a slight air of mystery about Mr James as the locals call him. He likes to be incognito, but also a bit of a socialite. He likes to wine and dine, and considers himself a bit of a gourmet.

His taste in music is electric. His tapping feet can lead him to the dance floor, with relish!

He is not normally an emotional man but, one afternoon, in the square by the cathedral, he has an unexpected and profound emotional experience – a thought-provoking experience.

All his senses are explored on this subtropical island. And, of course, the sight of the vibrant, purple-blue Jacaranda trees features heavily in James’ daily life, as he strolls along the avenues of Funchal.

James is presented with opportunities which he simply cannot refuse, and quite unexpectedly, he becomes the ‘main attraction’ on the dance floor, with the lady of his dreams! 

Does James lead a double life? Mr James can be incognito, a suspected spy, a man of mystery, yet a socialite, and sociable with it! Who exactly is Mr James? 

If Only...

Set in the early 1970s, If Only is based around three 16-year-old lads and the hilarious experiences and adventures they encounter through family life, sport, girls and holidays.

The down-to-earth, original humour is guaranteed to appeal to all age groups and you are assured to laugh out loud throughout the book.

There is also a more serious and nail-biting element as James, the natural leader, decides he has to avenge an injury to his friend and goes to the nearby village aided by the local gang of bullies, with disastrous consequences. Over a period of a week his life spirals downwards as he is accused of a string of crimes and he lays in bed nightly thinking, “If only...”

Running alongside this is Robert who is bullied by a gang to the point where he is about to end his life, but decides to take the alternative route and take them on at their own game.

The book draws inspiration from the humour of The Royle Family, from Tales of the Unexpected with its twist in the tale and from the film The Warriors. It showcases the humorous side of teenage life, together with adventures, excitement and edge-of-your-seat suspense, in a combination that will not disappoint.